Thursday, August 12, 2010

I Need a Shower

So here's the thing: I have been asked to throw a baby shower for someone. Someone I don't really know, but who seems nice enough. I would like to know her well enough to say that she was just splendid. Perhaps time will take care of this. Or a warm scone with an excellent crumb.

Here's the thing though: we have a mutual acquaintance. A person that I DISLIKE.

It's not a mild, meh, sort of dislike, either: I do not want this person in my home ever again.

And yet I am all about being nice lest someone stab me (something I learned to fear from Jenny at The Bloggess, whom I worship) (I mean, I think she might actually have replaced one of The Trinity)--and not just because I am afraid Jenny will stab me (which she might, and then infect me with some kind of taxidermy plague), but because I genuinely think that every single one of us being good is key to having the world work out okay.


How to solve this thing?

Is it possible to poison only one teacup? Could I "forget" to send the invitation? Should I stage some kind of mock disaster on my corner so that she cannot drive here?

Anyone have a creative idea?

I know that you are out there, lurking, and that you've never written to me before. Let today be the ay that you do.


1 comment:

  1. NO NO NO

    Do not include her on the list. You don't even have to tell anyone. Here is what you do:

    Mail all invites on time EXCEPT hers. Send it late. Like...the day of the shower. Then it is not an option.


    Send the invite WITHOUT a date on it. Or use terrible handwriting so she can't quite read it. Like, if it is the 28th, make it look like the 23rd.

    But the one that puts you in control of it is this one:

    Send it. But insert a small, beautifully handwritten note letting her know you felt she should know the mama-to-be wished to include her but that her attendance is in such poor taste her "decline" has already been noted.