Tuesday, June 30, 2009

For Alpha Monkey

Your peonies require sticky-footed ants. Mine require brute force.

Friday, June 26, 2009

One down, 22 to go

Assuming that he goes on to get a PhD in the family tradition (every family has traditions--ours are just dorkier and more desperate than those of normal families), Kid now has only 22 more years of education to complete, having graduated from kindergarten yesterday. We're just about free and clear!

He's clearly treating this occasion with all the solemnity it deserves.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Poor Kid. No more pop. No more ice cream. No more cookies. NO MORE SPEARMINT GUM.

If there's a bright side, I suppose he might not have such a fat mommy in a couple of weeks, if I stick to my promise to go on his anti-asthma diet with him. I might have worse breath, though.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Worn Ragged Productions Presents (again):

Indiana Jams and the Last Crusade (Part 2)


Miraculously revived, our hero tries again. This time he chooses a more plastic-looking cup:

So far, so good. Down the hatch!

AAAAAND: YES! Indiana wins his very own wooden Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword sword! Excellent morning!

Next adventure: Indy takes a bath!

Worn Ragged Productions Proudly Presents:

Indiana Jams and the Last Crusade

Part 1


Indiana Jones (feeling a little ill and hence still in his flannel jams at 11.30 am) surveys the range of drinking vessels, one among which is the chalice from which Jesus (whoever that might be) drank at his "final dinner."

He chooses a fine-looking piece of glassware, dips it into the basin, and drinks from it:


Saturday, June 13, 2009

The Genetics of Comedy

Kid started golf lessons today. Why I didn't do this earlier, I don't know.

Because it was the funniest thing I've seen in forever.

It's like Ralph Cramden, David Byrne and Wile E. Coyote are all wrestling for control of this tiny body.

Not all of the parents at the driving range shared my opinion: RE: the hilarity of the attempts of our children to hit a ball with a stick, but these are clearly people whose boy panties are on too tight or who didn't take the right pill when they got up this morning. About 80% of the photos I took will have to be deleted because I was laffing so hard that the images turned out all blurry.

Thank you genetics: you might have blighted him with poor vsion and a nose of dubious straightness, but you have blessed Kid with built-in comedy. I feel that he is going to go far (probably straight into a sand trap, but oh well). He is downstairs watching the Golf Channel right now, looking for tips to improve his swing.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Organic marshmallows

Braved the rain and the SNOW (fer the love of GOD) on the weekend and hit the famers' market to pick up some fixings for a dinner with "the elderly"--Kid's way of referring to his grandparents. (Isn't that hilarious, btw?) The first fruits of early summer piled in shiny mounds. The fragrance of ripe strawberries. Carrots so beautiful that you'd want to wear them as a tiara. If you were weird. Moving right along. . . . Beets that you would want to neck with in the back seat of a car. Gorgeous, earthy, primal, good-for-you goodness.

After hearing us exclaim and sigh and gasp and instruct him on the various wonders of the vegetable kingdom for 45 minutes, Kid sized up the entire place and picked this for his treat:

Organic Froot Loops and fair-trade marshmallows, no doubt.

Took 5 hours to get Kid down from the ceiling, he was so wired. Not all bad: he managed to get some of the winter cobwebs out of the corners up there.