Monday, September 23, 2013

Wake-up call

At nine on Saturday morning, I felt weary again (being up for a full 15 minutes can do that to a girl of advanced years), so I made a simple request: that Kid and I postpone our Scrabble game for another 30 minutes. We agreed that he would come shake me at 9.30.

At 11.15, the phone rang, and I woke up. When I asked Kid why he had let me sleep so late, he crawled out of his beanbag chair and patted my head, smiling benevolently, lovingly, understandingly, and said:

"I decided I didn't want you interfering in my business."

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Oh, right!

3.52am. Brain finally lurches into the thing I wanted to write about yesterday and wakes me up in the impact. I love my brain. It is a champ. But there is a reason I medicate it to within an inch of its life:

Stylish friend of sister, to me, TEN YEARS AGO: "You could be pretty if you tried. Maybe some makeup? The hair?"

Obligatory I-am-fine-with-myself-I-don't-need-to-conform-I-have-more-to-offer-than-a-smoky-cat's-eye-I-am-above-all-such-nonsense-AND-I-AM-STILL-BREASTFEEDING-WHICH-TAKES-A LOT-OUT-OF-A-GIRL-plus-also-many-other-things thoughts are on the mark. They are set. They go. They go FOR TEN YEARS. Monkey brain? On the job.

This weekend: gathering at sister's. Stylish friend of sister to be in attendance. Fine, I admit it: I blew out my hair, wore a little mascara, put on heels.

Stylish friend of sister, after chatting with me for an hour: "You look great. Like a model! Nice hair! So pretty. But, forgive me for saying this: You used to be funny. I'm kind of sad about how you're not funny any more. You need to work on yourself maybe."

The bonfire was only 2 feet away. I am still debating which of us I should have shoved in there.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Well, this is awkward

After a three-month hiatus on the grounds that I'm not very interesting, I decided while at the library that I just had to post something today. Something specific, which made me snarkle in the stacks. Something that, when I sat down here I could remember, but, after having gone through the whole password recovery process and general info grab from the Google overlords, has completely and utterly escaped me. But I have to write SOMETHING or

Wait, what am I doing here?

Add caption Why? Who is this? Why does she look familiar?  Like me, but smarter?