It's about an hour and 15 minutes from our leafy suburb to the slopes of Mt Norquay, whither we journey every Sunday morning, early, to get Kid to his ski camp (never) on time. This morning, Crazy Mother forgot to charge the iPhone and the DS, so we were thrown upon the treacherous shoals of one another's company FOR A WHOLE HOUR. After we exhausted all the hilarity possible from the coonhound's dreadful flatulence, we found ourselves with no other option than 20 questions.
Kid: Animal, vegetable or mineral?
Mom: Animal
Kid: IS IT A BADGER?
Mom: Nope.
Kid: Does it have feathers?
Mom: Nope.
Kid: Is it an apple?
Mom: Nope. It's an animal.
Kid: Imaginary?
Mom: Nope.
Kid: IS IT A GRUFFALO?
Mom: Nope. Not imaginary.
Kid: IS IT A PHOENIX?
Mom: Not. Imaginary.
Kid: Is it an animal?
Mom: Yes.
Kid: Does it have eyes?
Mom: Sigh.
Kid: IS IT A NAKED MOLE RAT?
Mom: No. No, it's not.
Kid: Right, because no feathers. Does it have feet?
Mom: Yes.
Kid: IS IT A POLAR BEAR?
Mom: IT IS A COW. A COW.
Kid: My turn. Okay, I'm thinking of an imaginary source of life.
Mom: The force?
Kid: HOW DID YOU KNOW?
54 minutes to go. Roadside cows are sniggering at me, the bastards.
No comments:
Post a Comment