This morning i have already prayed to the dryer (please let Kid have a pair of pants to wear to school this morning), the coonhound (please do not relieve yourself on the neighbor's front step), and a bag of black beans (please reveal yourself in this hellacious wasteland of a pantry hey is that actually Satan I see behind the 14 partial bags of alphabet pasta i thought you'd be taller). The first two prayers were answered. Satan, however, has apparently absconded with the beans, perhaps to unleash some not so fresh hell on the creatures of light.
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