Tuesday, January 26, 2010


LibraryThing has sucked the soul right out of my mouth, leaving me gaping, drooling and forgetting to breathe through my nose. All I do all day now is try to come up with highly descriptive tags describing the books I've read. All of the books I've read. None of this "19th century literature" for me. How could anyone possibly recall a book they've read by thinking to themselves "hmmmm, feminist literature, class struggle, Britain"?

Did you just think of 497 books that fit that description?

Now, try this one on for size:

ramparts (sod), patient enduring of torture, spontaneous dropping of eyes to the ground, the insolence of Pelagius, Pictish raiders, abundant corn leads to lying, the malevolence of demons, nocturnal emissions

Yep, that's right. The Venerable Bede. There could be no doubt, could there, not really. It's the combination of "nocturnal emissions" and "Pictish raiders" that gives it away.

Here's another:

really long walks, dreadful realism, annoying dialect, convenient head wound, books that are held to be important but are unreadable

Right? Could not be anything but The Red Badge of Courage.

Fun! Addictive! In fact, I've taken to thinking of my entire day in terms of such tags, adding another charming OCD ingredient to the mix.

Par example:

suburbanites (greying), too bad about the souffle, what's that smell? get your face off the bathmat, cornmeal (effing), no i don't want more turnip, don't say turnip, nips and tatties is a revolting expression, if i check in the toilet right now will it be flushed, grimy little hands paddling in my face, do you understand the first thing about basic kitchen hygeine, you know how long it's been since I came in to brush your teeth?, potty humour (of six year olds), scissors (not being playthings)

I think I'm just going to use this shorthand as my journalling technique from now on. Kinda just lays it all right out there, doesn't it.

Join me on LibraryThing? I'm LBV123.

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