Saturday, October 30, 2010

You still here?

Turns out that writing poor excuses for three paragraphs of science fiction takes rather a lot of time.


1. Girl at Shopper's took me aside gently and suggested I take advantage of sale prices on a 14-day treatment for "mature, fatigued" skin. I explained that my go-to remedy for that has always been gin, but she persisted. I'll keep you posted.
2. Fingernails are chipping. Yep, it's been so exciting around here that that makes number two on the list.
3. Christmas shopping nearly done. Thank you, Etsy. And thank you in particular, lizix26.
4. Have perfected killing regime for fruit flies involving balsamic vinegar. If you piss me off I have a salad of doom to give you for dinner. Consider yourself warned.
5. Brought home someone else's shopping bag from Winners, and that person took one of mine. In return for a pair of size 13 boy's winter boots and a three-pack of Fruit of the Loom boxers, I got an olive oil spray can, a headscarf and two candle holders in the fashion of fat flying babies. It's like Secret Santa although perhaps not as practical in the long run. Kid isn't excited about wrapping feet in acrylic scarf decorated with bears on skates. Honestly, it's like I don't even know him any more.
6. Learned much about the relative popularity of marbled cheese, aged cheddar, those little wrapped up squishy cubes with a cow on them, and Baby Bel, thanks to attending the Grade 2 Halloween party yesterday. Also learned that skunk monkeys like smelly bananas and that Marvin T's banana is always smelly. Also also learned that Marvin's mom is quick with the slappiness. I think I like her very much.
7. Mounties are cool, but Zombie Mounties are cooler. Kid doesn't care. See #5, above. Whose kid IS this?
8. Father's return to the pink of health seems complete, although mom still won't let him take me and sister 2 on whirl-wind (all-expenses-paid, I trust) jaunt to NYC. Mother is a pill. Perhaps it skips a generation and that explains Kid.
9. You pretty much can't win any debate when you're defending the premise that Idaho is as good as Italy. Even if the B-52s have written a song about Idaho and not about, say, Rome. That still doesn't work. Even if you sing that B-52s song to your extended family after a good dinner and over a couple of glasses of wine. It still doesn't work.
10. The Clone Wars, Season 2 is apparently so good that one could, actually, lose a all sense of time as well as bladder control, if one were a genetically pre-disposed killjoy child.

Bye now.


  1. Very very funny. Regarding #1...a few months ago, I had a facial (I treat myself about once a year, which is as effective as exercising once a year). At the end, my facialist (?) suggested I start using SPF on my face. I explained that I use SPF 30 on a daily basis. She looked at me and said, "I think you should try 45." Grrrr...

  2. Where did you find Zombie Mounties?! You Canadians. Always trying to make us look bad. In addition, DAMN YOU! for the link to that Etsy seller. I've tried very hard to stay away from that Den of Iniquity...