My life is a little like a science fiction novel: when I think of what I was doing not a decade ago, compared to now?
Whoa (as Keanu would say).
- There is eerie goo on my floor and sometimes on my clothes.
- A creature leapt from my belly and then began to feed on me.
- I often cannot remember my name or my birthday. Forget about the serial number.
- The appliances in my kitchen are conspiring against me. Those fires do in fact start themselves.
- There is a smaller person in my house who looks like me and says many of the things I say and yet when I speak seems not to be able to hear or see me.
- Most of my interactions are with ghostly presences that I conjure on a screen.
- I was recently informed that my cauliflower soup, while not poison according to the scientifically postulated laws of nature, was disgusting enough to be categorized as "wildly imaginative in a bad way."
- I have eyes in the back of my head.