Saturday, April 25, 2009

Overheard horrors

Cool. The bathroom wall is exactly the same color as the booger. That's called camoflage.

Good morning, sweet darling mommy. ACTIVATE, LUMPY!

I can't tell if the hair on the toast is mine or the dog's. Oh well.

Mommy, the neighbor up the hill says how about doing a little poo removal along the fenceline?

When you swallow barf, you always kind of let a little bit dribble on the floor. I thikn that's the law of physics.

Editor's note: it is 9.15 on a Saturday morning. If anyone is out there and knows where I live, could you perform an emergency extraction, please?


  1. Here is what I heard another child tell my 5 year old after school today: "Hey, C, remember all those worms on the baseball field at recess? Guess what? Jorge has them in his pockets!"

    And knowing perfectly well the horror Jorge's mother will find in the dryer next time she washes those pants, I told Jorge he did have to take them out of his pockets and have his mom wash his pants. As I was saying this his mom walked up and gave me a dirty look for telling her son to have his mom wash his pants. I was trying to explain that it was only because his pockets were full of earthworms that I even mentioned it. Her expression changed from being horrified at me to be horrified at her child.

    I didn't mean to get the kid in trouble like that, but it was his error in judgement that started the whole thing, not mine!