Monday, December 4, 2017

Close Your Eyes and Think of Western Democracies

Today I went up to the university to listen to David Frum. That I did this on purpose and with some excitement tells you a lot about where we are politically at this time here on planet Earth. I've kind of changed my mind maybe a little bit about DF because he is saying all kinds of mean things on TV about Trump, which are some of my favourite things that conservatives can be saying on TV these days.

Anyhow, Mr Frum has four ideas about what we can be doing to save Western democracies from creeping decay and maybe fascism. I only remember one, really, because it was this: Women need to bear more children. After that my brain kind of went ferfucksakeferfucksakeferfucksake over and over and over again.

And, I believe, what he was *really* saying is that more WHITE women need to be having more babies. White women need to have more babies so that we don't keep letting all these immigrants in. And he didn't, for the record, say "child-rearing." It was "child-bearing."

So, this is what I heard him whispering underneath all the things he was saying more loudly and humorously and sagely:

The ultra-rich (men) who run the world are angsty because there are hordes of brown people coming into the countries into which their own ancestors only recently arrived, and these brown people are working with unhinged lefties to agitate unrealistically about the right to healthcare and affordable education and jobs that pay a living wage. Rich white men don't like to share, and old rich white men are naturally more conservative, so they get a little fascisty and fuck up democracy so that they get to keep what they already have.. In order to calm their poor nerves, stem immigration, and provide an army of able-bodied white people to work in factories and schools and hospitals and brokerages, it is up to white women to produce more babies.

Now, look: I'm no genius. I'm also maybe a little menopausal (no more white babies for me!), my mind wanders, I'm naturally suspicious, my dog eats loads of illegal butter while I'm not looking and it's really getting on my nerves because the neighbours are all judging me for letting the puppy get so fat so quickly but it is not my fault that he is athletic and addicted to animal fats. Maybe DF didn't mean to give me this impression. He was speaking quickly. But what I *thought* I heard was this:

Ladies, abandon the Resistance. Tune out Elizabeth Warren. People are really all just "primates in pants" (not pantsuits). The way to stabilize society is not to march on Washington. It's to close your eyes and think of Western Democracies.

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