We feed the Kid. He gets a multi-vitamin just in case, but he doesn't really need it. He gets lots of milk, lots of protein, lots of fruit and vegetables. He looks like such a big strong healthy boy.
But appearances are deceiving.
Kid cannot walk without falling down. It is not right that such a boy should be unable to walk in the snow without sinking to his knees in worn-out despair after 30 seconds; to be unable to propel his young body from the kitchen table to the bathtub without dropping like a swatted deerfly; to be unable to manage the simple motion that so many of us take for granted.
Please give generously to the Oakridge Foundation for Gin-Based Parental Therapy. It's too late for Kid. Save his mother.