Tuesday, May 5, 2009


This whole new Hasbro Channel is making me feel sort of queasy about children's programming in general. It really is all about selling toys. I know: "Duh." I kept hoping there was something else to it, something that could justify my giving in and letting Kid watch the shows that he loves.

For example: Kid does love him some Chaotic, but that show's mission is to make him bug me until I buy him a $6 pack of trading cards, despite the fact that he has no one to trade them with (other moms being brainier than me I suppose), cannot read the made-up mythological nonsense, and isn't allowed to play the game online. But every nerve ending in his tiny body is crying out about the M'arrillian Invasion and the Orb of Foresight or whatever goof is going on this week.

Idea: a trading card game based on the heroisms of everyday motherhood. "The Nexxuss of Nail-clippers." "The Fugue of Hysterical Weeping." "Dental Floss World Storm." "The Rise (and Fall) of the Matriarchy." "Acid Wash Underpants" (An Ultra Rare Card).

Say, this is fun.

Turns out that A LOT of the trading cards don't have to be modified at all to fit into this new game. Check it out--this is just at random from the "S" section:

Scepter of the Infernal Parasite
Screeching Scare
Serenade of Subordinance

Does that not sound like a typical day at your house?


  1. A Serenade, how lovely! I will trade a Rogue Refusal and a Contrarian Coup for it. Not enough? You can also have my third born.

  2. Rogue Refusal is what every mommy's heart craves. Okay, swap!

  3. I told my kids they had to start paying me for dealing with the extra whining and for having to repeat directions. These are not in my employment agreement and I am expecting some compensation for performing duties beyond the scope of my contract. I assign random amounts to things and then tell them they just paid me a quarter or maybe $2.73. It helps them quantify the degree of their lapse and thus the degree of my frustration. Only occasionally do I actually take a quarter...just to keep the threat real for them.

  4. You, I believe, are a kind of a genius.
    And I am going to be RICH.